I wrote this 6th October 2020.
The water reflects a monster
Ugly and broken
Armoured skin too old to hold the scars
A mind trapped, tumultuously, behind bars
Scratch the surface, maybe I’ll see the light you see
But to me I’ll just be
Wasting my time
My blood, the taste, it’s fine
But leaves a bitter crash
Like a rat-eaten hidden stash
A little substance
A little abuse
A bigger miss of a shallow term of use
Too scared to feel
To weak to peel the layers
Away from the past pain of a fictional, fractured past
What is reality anyway?
Who am I on any given day?
Ying? Yang?
Your voice sears into my thoughts
And I know it’s true
And I know it’s you
I feel your light licking my darkness
Like the flame of a candle
You say you can, but
Really can you handle me?
I can’t even begin, the sins
Weigh too heavy
Against my creeking doors of guilt
Closing off and hiding my room of shame
If you want it all, really want it all
Don’t ever say I didn’t try
Once you’ve seen the sky fall
It can’t climb back
It won’t forget
Your train wreck awaits